Mystery of the Ballooning Biscuits

After ten years of no biscuits (because I can’t have wheat gluten) I had a craving for one. I shuffled through my recipe books and decided to go with a very impressive book from an impressive culinary school. I shopped for potato starch, tapioca starch, white rice flour, brown rice flour, guar gum, turpentine and candle wax. Actually, I stopped at the guar gum. Thinking I had everything, I set out bowls, utensils and a cookie sheet. Dang! I needed buttermilk. (not exactly a staple at our house) So the biscuits were put off for another day. A drive to the store means twenty minutes down and twenty minutes back, and an investment in gasoline. The biscuits would now cost two dollars each, but I was so far into it I had to follow through. The big day finally came. I was already drooling over the biscuit I was about to create. Carefully I measured all the dry ingredients and stirred them together with baking powder and sugar in a large bowel. In a smaller bowl, I mixed 2 eggs, melted butter and 2 ¾ cups buttermilk, just like the recipe said. Why think about it when the recipe does all the thinking? But I had a feeling something was wrong. Traditional biscuits are made with very little liquid. The batter should be stiff—hard to stir. I poured the wet ingredients into the dry and stirred. I had soup! I rechecked the recipe. I had done everything correctly—now I had to think for myself. I began tossing in more and more dry ingredients until the mixture was thicker (but not stiff) and threatening to overflow the bowl. Still salivating over a possible warm biscuit with butter and honey, I decided to go ahead and bake the not-stiff batter. I baked tray after tray of three-inch Frisbees, ending up with close to four dozen pancake-biscuits. I have a food-rule I follow religiously, “If it’s not rotten, freeze it.” Our two little freezers are bursting with frozen biscuits which I sample periodically with great pleasure. Lightest little things you’ll ever find. They work well as toaster popups. The moral to this story is: "Just because it’s in print—doesn’t make it so” Author Joyce Oroz Mystery Novel: "Secure the Ranch" (Available in Paperback and Kindle Format)


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