Mystery of the Ballooning Biscuits

After ten years of no biscuits (because I can’t have wheat gluten) I had a craving for one. I shuffled through my recipe books and decided to go with a very impressive book from an impressive culinary school. I shopped for potato starch, tapioca starch, white rice flour, brown rice flour, guar gum, turpentine and candle wax. Actually, I stopped at the guar gum. Thinking I had everything, I set out bowls, utensils and a cookie sheet. Dang! I needed buttermilk. (not exactly a staple at our house) So the biscuits were put off for another day. A drive to the store means twenty minutes down and twenty minutes back, and an investment in gasoline. The biscuits would now cost two dollars each, but I was so far into it I had to follow through. The big day finally came. I was already drooling over the biscuit I was about to create. Carefully I measured all the dry ingredients and stirred them together with baking powder and sugar in a large bowel. In a smaller bowl, I mixed 2 eggs, melted butter and 2 ¾ cups buttermilk, just like the recipe said. Why think about it when the recipe does all the thinking? But I had a feeling something was wrong. Traditional biscuits are made with very little liquid. The batter should be stiff—hard to stir. I poured the wet ingredients into the dry and stirred. I had soup! I rechecked the recipe. I had done everything correctly—now I had to think for myself. I began tossing in more and more dry ingredients until the mixture was thicker (but not stiff) and threatening to overflow the bowl. Still salivating over a possible warm biscuit with butter and honey, I decided to go ahead and bake the not-stiff batter. I baked tray after tray of three-inch Frisbees, ending up with close to four dozen pancake-biscuits. I have a food-rule I follow religiously, “If it’s not rotten, freeze it.” Our two little freezers are bursting with frozen biscuits which I sample periodically with great pleasure. Lightest little things you’ll ever find. They work well as toaster popups. The moral to this story is: "Just because it’s in print—doesn’t make it so” Author Joyce Oroz Mystery Novel: "Secure the Ranch" (Available in Paperback and Kindle Format)

Muraling Part 2

Muraling Part Two

We use cameras to capture a perfect image. A painting is better than perfect. It’s a personal expression, a reflection of your feelings and a depiction of your dreams. Or maybe it’s just a silly cartoon that makes you happy. Remember, the most important tools at your disposal are; your imagination, ingenuity and heart. Some skill is required, but skill comes in all sizes. Your fortitude and sense of humor will see you through.

The easiest way

to a happy mural experience is to lower your expectations a titch, and then surprise yourself with a painting you didn’t know you could accomplish. I’m here to be your cheerleader and push you forward into rewarding new projects.

I will give you the information you need to complete the murals of your choice.

Author Joyce Oroz

"Secure the Ranch" - Mystery Novel

When Sandy reads Secure the Ranch, she especially likes the parts about Solow, and her favorite mishap is…

“Oh, my God, Solow,” I gasped. I hadn’t a clue how he took the crash. I jumped up and raced out the front door. Herbert had the light on in the garage that looked like Hurricane Josephine had hit it. I rounded the truck and opened the passenger door. Solow practically fell out. I helped him to the ground, noticing his whole backside was crimson. I stifled a cry with my hand. Tears welled up as I embraced the best dog-friend a person could have. Down close, hugging him, he smelled like strawberries.

Once I realized Solow was wearing strawberries and a few other food groups, I relaxed considerably. He had polished off a pound of ground round, a pint of “cookies and cream” ice cream and a dozen raw eggs. He had been literally rolling in groceries under the dash.


Every dog’s dream!

Author Joyce Oroz

"Secure the Ranch" - Mystery Novel

Unraveling the Dietary Mysteries of Labrador Retrievers

Rumors are flying that a golden lab named Sandy eats artichokes. “No way,” they all say. But she has been seen scraping the good stuff off the leaves with clenched teeth. You go, girl! Just don’t get caught between Sandy and fresh cabbage leaves. Trampling is never pretty.

The rumors get more ridiculous. Sandy has been spotted pulling weeds with her teeth and eating them. As she works hard to manicure the backyard, her boyfriend, Rocky, on the other side of the cyclone fence mimics her. Now his yard is looking good too.

Sandy is never allowed to have candy, but she can be rather persuasive as she holds an Easter bucket in her mouth, hoping for donations. She finally gives up the bucket and takes a stroll wearing her fake fur bunny ears. Try that, Rocky!

You know it’s a bad day when:

Your dog brings home a bone. You say, “good boy.” Six cop cars surround your neighbor’s house. They discover a body buried in the backyard (minus one femur) and your property value drops by half because you live in a dangerous neighborhood.

From "Secure the Ranch"

“Oh, my God, Solow,” I gasped. I hadn’t a clue how he took the crash. I jumped up and raced out the front door. Herbert had the light on in the garage that looked like Hurricane Josephine had hit it. I rounded the truck and opened the passenger door. Solow practically fell out. I helped him to the ground, noticing his whole backside was crimson. I stifled a cry with my hand. Tears welled up as I embraced the best dog-friend a person could have. Down close, hugging him, he smelled like strawberries.

Once I realized Solow was wearing strawberries and a few other food groups, I relaxed considerably. He had polished off a pound of ground round, a pint of cookies and cream ice cream and a dozen raw eggs. He had been literally rolling in groceries under the dash. Every dog’s dream!